New Years, 2016

I don’t understand why people celebrate New Year’s, or for that matter, I don’t exactly understand party culture as a whole. Everything else in your life can be shit, but you have the freedom to bust moves on the dance floor like it’s nobody’s business, and get freaky any way you like, but if capitalism gave you such stress to begin with and then offers you another opportunity to blow your stress away with another product, and if you’re only going to do it again next week, what’s the point?

I’ve been an Uber Black Car driver for about a month now, and driving around on New Years it doesn’t look like a lot of people are happy. I was driving these college kids around and one girl said to me that she wouldn’t be surprised if there was a terror attack that night at the club she was going to. Well one, why are you even going? But two, what kind of happiness is that? What kind of partying exists at the same time as the fear of terror attacks? And this brings up another question: what do people have to celebrate exactly?

I’m not saying that there’s no reason to celebrate at all. Maybe you improved yourself/burned your copy of The Secret and picked up Existentialism for Dummies, then good for you. Or if you had a really big obstacle in your way and now it’s not there any more, celebrate. It’s celebrating about something. But I don’t think that’s what mainstream partying is about. It’s celebrating without an object worth celebrating. And you can tell just by being there. A lot of these parties don’t really seem like a relief. No, these parties usually end in frustration, couples and friends fighting with each other, and vomit.

Another customer was telling me that New Year’s is like a reset button, and I think that’s correct. You start the year off optimistically, you set goals for yourself, and the multitudes of corporations will want a piece of you, and it can get very frustrating to keep your head above water. But hey, here’s New Year’s, let’s see how things will be better next year.

But these are the thoughts of someone who’s only stepped into a club less than 5 times in his life. So, food for thought.

On the 4th of July

I never really wanted to be a radical. I don’t think anyone wants to come to the conclusion that the world they were brought up in and made to feel comfortable in is unsustainable or a downright lie. Children want to grow up in a world where their parents are wise, adults enjoy living the lives they do, and that this is a place where people want to be. I grew up in an upper-middle class white family. My grandparents were Holocaust survivors. When my Mom was being raised they would do their best to put the past behind them, and enjoy an America where the kids could go to school, make friends and wear pretty dresses, but the war took their innocence from them. As much as they tried to bring their children into a world without terror, they couldn’t escape what they actually felt about the world, that it was never actually safe. I think the concept of safe might have died for them. I never met them. My mom didn’t know her mother either, she committed suicide when she was ten. The theme of survival hardened in my mother, without someone to take care of her she picked up the reins of life herself and made life her bitch. My mother is the most accomplished person I’ve ever known, but deep down I know that it comes from a fear of helplessness and losing the people you love.

When she was raising me she pretty much did what her parents did, and to the same effect: idyllic household where nothing is wrong, where everything goes wrong. Having a daily routine to her and for us was pacifying to her. She’d wake up early in the morning to go to the gym, come back, pack our lunches, drive me and my sister to school, go to work, come back, make dinner, watch the news, read the newspaper, and then go to sleep. She couldn’t escape her past no more than her parents did, and these rituals could not be disturbed without her becoming very angry. She was so wedded to this idea of idyllic stability and peace that she didn’t really see us as people, almost as symbols for the story of her life first and foremost before we were people. Yeah, Indra’s Net, happens to everyone. (It’s a Zen Buddhist concept that people are so steeped in their own thoughts that whatever they take anything to be says more about their outlook on it than it actually says anything about it. So people think plastic cups are garbage when they’re done using them, in reality they are engineering marvels made from the liquefied bones of dinosaurs, processed through an industrial Odyssey just so they could be used for some cookout and then thrown away.) But this was a delusion, when I started to develop and get into situations that didn’t jive with this cookie cutter format of life she imagined, it took a lot more work to for her to accept it than for somebody else. Other parents, I imagine. And my Dad? He was escaping his own trauma. I think the two of them got married to keep each other safe. It’s really sweet when I think about it, but combined the effect they had on me was ruinous. Because they couldn’t acknowledge their own trauma they didn’t have the hearts to acknowledge other people’s trauma, so when it happened to me I left was completely alone in the world.

I’m wondering whether or not I should go full circle now and tell you the full story of why I have the political opinions I do. The blog that I made for myself is on how politics informs myself and how myself informs politics, so you might be able to see how important the subject is to me. I guess you can say that I see ‘what happened to me’ on a larger scale throughout society, or another way of putting it is that the social rules that justified my suffering still go unspoken and unrecognized. But even this is not good enough, because what are my political opinions? I think so far you guys have a very flimsy understanding of who I am and what I think, I think so far the blog posts I’ve made could come from another college lefty howler, out to be angry at something just to be angry at something. I guess I should lay out my opinion package. I would really like to use bullet points here, but honestly, I’m glad enough I have this platform that I don’t care enough about prettiness.

* We live in a hierarchical, abusive, non-compassionate society that assumes that the world is fair, and what happens to people is mostly the result of their actions. In the human world, white men are considered the embodiment of everything that’s best, followed by white women, black men, black women, and all of the people of the world fighting to climb up a social pyramid. Regarding the ecosystem, this pyramid still exists. After all of the people of the world come the mammals, after the mammals come the reptiles, after the reptiles come the insects, and after that come the plants, those suckers who just let other creatures eat on them all day long. (Hell, I even heard my boss said the other day that we add value to trees, the oxygen making, food and shelter providing miracles, by turning them into paper!) And after that, inanimate objects like rocks, dirt and water.

* Human beings are compassionate, but what keeps us from being compassionate to other humans and the planet as a whole is a blockage in that compassion, what I call societal callousness. The organizing principles of society are blocking us from seeing what we are doing to each other. In the human world, we are so driven by the idea that money is value that we refuse to see value in things that don’t have a monetary value. It’s this reason why we have an ecological crisis, blindly destroying things we don’t see as valuable, like the Amazon rain forest, the lungs of the planet. So in this case the monetary value restricts our ability to see only to that which makes money. This callousness extends from human to human and human to the natural world. This is a false consciousness as Marx would put it. It’s not just simply a lack of empathy that we just need to overwhelm with love and sunshine and happiness, the problem is that we’re not often aware of this gap between us and the real world. Capitalism is more than just a system that turns people against each other, its functioning requires philosophical premises that need to be brought into the light, critiqued and dismantled.

* Responses to economic, political and environmental crises NEED to think deeply about the massive systems of thought that block this compassion, otherwise we risk falling back into our delusions of what ‘ought’ to be rather than what is. These crises are philosophical in nature, and the problem of the world is that we are mistaking what we think reality is as reality itself.

* But what we need is not just a response to these pyramid, hierarchical systems but a complete inversion. Value does not come from above, it comes from below, from the earth, to the plants that make the raw materials possible, to the workers who put society together, to the engineers, scientists and dreamers who imagine new ways to create, to the poets and philosophers who make it all worthwhile, and then FINALLY to the ‘survival of the fittest’ people at the top, convincing everyone that they are worthless unless they are like them.

I mean I am 24 and don’t know shit but if I need a epistemologically mindfucking to get a more refined theory of power and change I’ll let you know, but this is what I got so far.