Happy new year to anyone reading this

It just dawned on my last night that maybe instead of watching a ball drop as our abstract representation of how time passes, I don’t know, I would have liked to watch a nuclear bomb hitting the earth at the second it becomes the new year. Just seems more fitting of how our society functions. And it wouldn’t even be a hassle either, we’re dropping bombs for testing all the time

My new year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating at procrastinating. I need to step up my procrastination game. This procrastination isn’t going to get itself done, y’know? So far, I think I’m doing an ok job.

My other new year’s resolution is to use TOR for all my internet needs whenever I can. And hey, look at me now. Blogging from Sweden. It’s really easy, much easier than I thought it was. And overall there are still vulnerabilities in it that I don’t quite understand but I’ll look into it. Link for anyone who’s interested in a NSA-resistant internet experience. 

Also to get a job. But since the economy isn’t something that I have wrapped around my finger, I’m gonna work my butt off during the day and hopefully write/read more at night about how to let things go that aren’t in my control, since beating myself up will only slow me down.

Well, here you go. I hope that 2014 for you is brimming with possibilities for you and everyone you know.


My take on Commodity Fetishism

Marx’s concept of Commodity Fetishism has to be one of the most spectacular mindfucks I’ve ever experienced in my life, simply because of how basic and  everyday commodities (or in basic terms, shit that’s for sale) are. It’s always nice to discover something new, and it’s especially nice to realize you’ve been thinking a certain way without even realizing it. It’s like what Zizek says about unknown-knowns: it’s the things that you don’t know that you do know that keep you trapped. When understood, you walk away with this inverted understanding of daily capitalist life, as all of your upbringing under capitalist society is put on its head. It’s one of my favorite mindfucks.

Let’s say you need a new pair of shoes, and you go to the shoemaker. The shoemaker knows you. He knows you, your personal tastes, your whole family, your family’s personal tastes what you’ll need the shoes for, what the latest trends are, what materials the shoes are made out of, how all of these things will influence your social standing, the way that you walk, what other people will think about your shoes, etc. And not only does he know all of those things, but he knows how each of those things will influence the other things he knows, for example how the use of a certain type of material will influence the way that you walk, what your parents will think about the style of shoe, you get the point. He is an absolute master of his trade. He promises you to take all of these things into consideration when making your shoes, and he does. He gives you the best damn shoes you’ve ever seen. In order to make sure that he can continue to do this type of work in the future, what do you give him?

Let’s just now shift over to a capitalist universe. The shoemaker is still there, you’re still there, and you’re just about to give him something so that he can continue to do this work for other people. What do you give him? Cash. Simple answer, cash. And then you walk away. Does this seem strange to you at all? If the answer is no, then we need to explain the process of creation better.

In order to make the shoes, the shoemaker draws resources from the environment, draws inspiration from his years of experience living in society, assembles the resources in a culturally appealing way, and hands them to you. By giving him money you’re not returning any of those things to him, not directly at least. The money isn’t inspiration, the money isn’t the years it took get his trade down. It’s entirely unconnected and unrelated from the process of creation itself. He could buy the leather and rubber with the money you gave him. That would mean he would have to go to another leather and rubber master, give them more of these slips of paper that are also disconnected from their work in order to get what he needs. And here we come across one profound realization of Karl Marx: everywhere where man takes cash, man experiences alienation from life itself.

And just to bring the alienation point home, I’d like to engage in an exercise with you right now and ask you to look around wherever it is you’re reading and try to guess the price value of the objects around you if they were suddenly sold in a tag sale. You can imagine it. That bowl will go for a dollar each, that pair of shoes for five dollars, you get the idea. There’s nothing “one-like” about a bowl, or “five-like” about about a pair of shoes. The shoes and the bowls just exist, and we imagine “one” or “five” and then implant our ideas of what they might be worth onto those items. Again, there’s nothing one-like or five-like about these items.

Y’all ready for this? This is where Marx tells you that capitalist society is just as insane and strange as all of those “primitive” people of the world capitalist society takes a dump on. Marx says where else in the world do we see behavior like this, where man puts value onto an object and suddenly that object really does appear to have those values? The Third World, bitches! He cites an example of a tribe who, when their child gets sick, they put them in front of a totem pole, and by the belief that they actually put the child in front of a god and asked the god for forgiveness, the child becomes healed. Just as blocks of inanimate wood become gods, green slips of paper and cotton becomes an invisible life force that unites all objects. And that’s why it’s called commodity fetishism, because ordinary objects are taking on religious qualities.

And after all of this, you can nice and neatly wrap up this whole system of thought into two words: false consciousness. As long as we genuinely believe that objects have numerical value and that money is the holder of that value, we are not thinking freely.

Slavoj + Kanye = Match Made in Heaven

Slavoj + Kanye = Match Made in Heaven

Well, it took me all day and believe it or not I’m currently facing a computer uprising…this disobedient toaster apparently doesn’t know how to install Windows live movie maker! So there goes my youtube fame. Here’s to hoping that it’ll pass along well enough that someone can make something good of it. Or at least that you can hear it. Because I really did my best to make it as cheesy as fuck. It’s all dark and shit in the beginning because both Slavoj and Kanye get hard-ons of for tragedy and how political reality ruptures your comfortable state of mind. I just there’s serious space for a bromance here. I think they’d have a great time talking about the double edged sword of normalcy and becoming indoctrinated, and Zizek likes analyzing everything Freud-style and Kanye likes anime, so why don’t these muhfuckas sit down and watch some Evangelion together, no? And New Slaves is ALL about Kanye’s struggle with his Big Other. It’s been the defining issue of his whole career. Kanye wrestles with what it means to be a happy member of society, and then takes shits on it. PLEASE tell me that Kanye wouldn’t enjoy Zizek’s inverted look at society and his take on the subconscious. I’m telling ya. 

But I hope this ushers in a new age of dialogue between Kanye fans and Zizek…fans. The melodrama and tortured happiness that’s found in Kanye is equally matched by the dark visions of the Slovenian philosopher, who insists that society was never something ever to be taken seriously, completely sustaining itself on “necessary delusions”. If you think I’m joking, take this beat and apply it to any lecture Zizek gives and tell me that the dark undertones of New Slaves don’t complement Zizek’s ultra-pessimism.

Shout outs Kanye West, Brandon Marshall, the guy who worked his darnest to imitate the beat the best he could, the slav-joy himself, Audacity media player, Coca-cola (the perfect commodity) and Southern Comfort, and our lady of free speech, WordPress. Just click download and it’ll be there. Have a good night!

General update

Sup. If anyone is actually out there reading this, really, I’m impressed. You have any idea how big the internet is? And how little time you have? And you’re choosing to read this piece of shit? You’re weird! I like you. Let’s keep on talking.

Well, the thing about the internet is that anyone can really say anything, so I’m going to utilize my god-given right as an American to be entirely and publicly idiotic. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Because I’m trying to shed any responsibility I have as a public figure in favor of whatever the fuck it is I want to talk about. Really, you really should go back to watching 30 Rock. I’m just saying.

The blog’s weird for me because of all the shit I’ve said before; the duality of writing what I want versus what I think my readers want. I get a spike in traffic when I post sometimes, only one guy has ever responded to me, and that was to pimp his own project. And, like, I’m too dumb for this blog. What I really should be is a grad student with my own dissertation, who’s read the fuck out of philosophy as a whole fucking field, and on this blog, posts insightful commentary on current events and writes humorous summaries of high-value fucking content. I’m too dumb for that. I’m just a 24 year old unemployed shmuck who likes using philosophy and anthropology to chip away at the never-ending, all pervasive world-suck. So any of y’all might actually be more versed in what I’m talking about than I am. I’d be like “Hey guys! Did you hear about Spinoza? The guy’s the fucking shit!” and you guys would be like “Yeah. We’ve known about him for 400 years. Since 16-whatever. Where have you been?” Fuck me.

But as long as I’ve got time and as long as this service remains free, I can’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t post, aside from wasting your time or annoying you. You, who spends their time on WordPress using tags to find out what people are talking about when they use this tag. You who hits subscribe and then my torrent of word-slime leaves skid marks on your screen when you scroll past it. Like I have no even idea how this even affects you. Or you who just may as well be someone who I’ve never met before, who came to this site through ways I can’t even imagine. Space monkeys. Pirate space monkeys. And finally, there’s the sad souls who I actually know who actually want to read what the fuck I write?! Like, why would you do that to yourselves?! This shit’s toxic, man! Why are you eating my word vomit?! Stop that! Put that down!

I guess I’m just writing whatever appeals to me, whatever makes me inspired, because if it inspired me then maybe it will inspire you. I mean I just hope that my life can be useful to another one. That’s what I want out of life. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to loosen up a bit and make myself at home. Either that or you can go watch Miley Cyrus break your latest set of expectations. Growing up I never had a Xanga or anything like that, so I just feel like I’m overdue for one. As it is already, I’m not too certain about what I should type. Before now I’ve told people it was a Critical Theory site. Caring about what other people think about me is a big theme, you’ll notice. Maybe I’ll just remake the site.

Well, here goes nothing. Publish!

A nice, short article on the madness of contemporary politics

A nice, short article on the madness of contemporary politics

Not as analytical as other posts, just something worth reblogging. The author comes to the conclusion that because voters don’t  vote in off years, parties like the Tea Party get disproportional influence. Like, I’ll do it. I’ll vote in the off year. If it’ll keep some tea party nut job out of office, I’ll do it. Shit, I won’t even look at the issues. Just a very simple test. Are you nuts? Yes? I’m voting for the other guy.