Sup. If anyone is actually out there reading this, really, I’m impressed. You have any idea how big the internet is? And how little time you have? And you’re choosing to read this piece of shit? You’re weird! I like you. Let’s keep on talking.
Well, the thing about the internet is that anyone can really say anything, so I’m going to utilize my god-given right as an American to be entirely and publicly idiotic. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Because I’m trying to shed any responsibility I have as a public figure in favor of whatever the fuck it is I want to talk about. Really, you really should go back to watching 30 Rock. I’m just saying.
The blog’s weird for me because of all the shit I’ve said before; the duality of writing what I want versus what I think my readers want. I get a spike in traffic when I post sometimes, only one guy has ever responded to me, and that was to pimp his own project. And, like, I’m too dumb for this blog. What I really should be is a grad student with my own dissertation, who’s read the fuck out of philosophy as a whole fucking field, and on this blog, posts insightful commentary on current events and writes humorous summaries of high-value fucking content. I’m too dumb for that. I’m just a 24 year old unemployed shmuck who likes using philosophy and anthropology to chip away at the never-ending, all pervasive world-suck. So any of y’all might actually be more versed in what I’m talking about than I am. I’d be like “Hey guys! Did you hear about Spinoza? The guy’s the fucking shit!” and you guys would be like “Yeah. We’ve known about him for 400 years. Since 16-whatever. Where have you been?” Fuck me.
But as long as I’ve got time and as long as this service remains free, I can’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t post, aside from wasting your time or annoying you. You, who spends their time on WordPress using tags to find out what people are talking about when they use this tag. You who hits subscribe and then my torrent of word-slime leaves skid marks on your screen when you scroll past it. Like I have no even idea how this even affects you. Or you who just may as well be someone who I’ve never met before, who came to this site through ways I can’t even imagine. Space monkeys. Pirate space monkeys. And finally, there’s the sad souls who I actually know who actually want to read what the fuck I write?! Like, why would you do that to yourselves?! This shit’s toxic, man! Why are you eating my word vomit?! Stop that! Put that down!
I guess I’m just writing whatever appeals to me, whatever makes me inspired, because if it inspired me then maybe it will inspire you. I mean I just hope that my life can be useful to another one. That’s what I want out of life. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to loosen up a bit and make myself at home. Either that or you can go watch Miley Cyrus break your latest set of expectations. Growing up I never had a Xanga or anything like that, so I just feel like I’m overdue for one. As it is already, I’m not too certain about what I should type. Before now I’ve told people it was a Critical Theory site. Caring about what other people think about me is a big theme, you’ll notice. Maybe I’ll just remake the site.
Well, here goes nothing. Publish!